This was sent to me from a very good friend of mine:

The Married Christian People Creed

Article I. We, the Married Christian People, affirm that we are the only ones in the church who matter, and if you are single, separated, divorced, widowed, or anything other than married, face it; YOU’RE SCREWED.

Article II. We, the Married Christian People, affirm that we will commence to telling you single people all our marital problems and how much hell on earth marriage is, then get this wild Dr. Frankenstein look in our eyes, and harp on asking you when you are going to get married.

Article III. We, the Married Christian People, affirm that we can tell you single people to hold on to God; ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha we don’t have to.

Article IV. We, the Married Christian People, affirm that you shouldn’t have pre-marital contact [with the opposite sex] of any kind, including, but not limited to: holding hands, telephone calls, love notes in church, drive-in movies, eye contact, etc

Article V. We, the Married Christian People, affirm that we will do nothing to help you get married, then call thirtysomething single men “gay” [behind their backs] and call thirtysomething single women “old maids” [behind their backs], because, if they wanted to get married, they would.

Article VI. We, the Married Christian People, affirm that it’s your fault for being single.

Article VII. We, the Married Christian People, affirm that we will counsel our single female friends to “Kiss Dating Goodbye” and encourage our male single friends to ask them out ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. This is more fun than putting the black widow spider, the hornet, the scorpion, and the wasp in the jar, and shaking it up.

Article VIII. We, the Married Christian People, affirm that we get to have children.

Article IX. We, the Married Christian People, affirm that we never were single; we have forgotten where we came from.

Article X. We, the Married Christian People, affirm that you even the government is on our side, since they have removed the “marriage penalty” from us who have more income and placed the tax burden on you who have less income and who have no second income to help.