The Washed Up, Born Again Actors and Musicians Creed
Article 1: We The Washed Up, Born Again Actors and Musicians will go away for a very long time to show up years later on the Praise The Lord Show on TBN.
Article 2: We The Washed Up, Born Again Actors and Musicians after appearing on TBN will announce that we are starring in the latest Billy Graham, British Shakesphere Jesus, or Christian cheezy rapture movie or are doing the soundtrack for such movie.
Article 3: We The Washed Up, Born Again Actors and Musicians will during our testimony proclaim how we were at the lowest of the lows and the darkest of the dark before seeing the light and how no one was ever lower than they were.
Article 4: We The Washed Up, Born Again Actors and Musicians will during our testimony name-drop every famous athlete, musician, porn star, supermodel, movie star, tv actor, satanic witch, and tv actress we drank, did drugs, or slept with.
Article 5: We The Washed Up, Born Again Actors and Musicians will proclaim that the dead athletes, musicians, porn stars, supermodesl, movie stars, tv actors, satanic witches, and tv actresses we drank, did drugs, or slept with are in hell while proclaiming that the athletes, musicians, porn stars, supermodesl, movie stars, tv actors, satanic witches, and tv actresses we drank, did drugs, or slept with that are still alive will be saved because we the Washed Up Christian Celebrity will save them!!!
Article 6: We The Washed Up, Born Again Actors and Musicians will announce our new ministry that will sell our testimony on VHS, DVD, and Cassette.
Article 7: We The Washed Up, Born Again Actors and Musicians will hit the Celebrity Christian speaking tour because Celebrity Christians are in hot demand especially in Branson Missouri.
Article 8: We The Washed Up, Born Again Actors and Musicians will form a non-profit ministry to get other actors, actresses, and musicians saved because we are a Christian Celebrity and Christian Celebrities save people.
Article 9: We The Washed Up, Born Again Actors and Musicians will think that we are the influential voice that will save Hollywood, Los Angeles, Sunset Strip, and Nashville from destruction.
Article 10: We The Washed Up, Born Again Actors and Musicians will go into a deep state of depression when another celebrity becomes born again and their testimony is in more demand than ours therefore our services are no longer in demand.
Article 11: We The Washed Up, Born Again Actors and Musicians will not recover from our depression caused by article 10 and end up either dead from a relapse into substance abuse, arrested for substance abuse, spousal abuse, back in rehab, or trying for a career in secular music and media once again.
Article 12: We The Washed Up, Born Again Actors and Musicians will tell the story about how when we were unsaved, drunk, high, and on top of the world, we used to turn on TBN at 10 PM and laugh and laugh at Jan’s hair and Paul’s cowboy suits until we were at the bottom and then turned on the TBN at 3 AM with the gun to their head or needle in their vein and got saved.
Article 13: We The Washed Up, Born Again Actors and Musicians confirm that if we ever got another contract for a major tv show, movie, 30 minute infomercial, talk show, or recording contract; bye bye Christianity, hello Hollywood, Sunset Strip, and Na$hville.
« Kim Clement Credited For Foretelling The CBS Blunder | Home | The Eternal Church Service »
Comments
Branson, Missouri? Wasn’t that on The Simpsons once?
“Branson, Missouri. It’s what Las Vegas would be like if it was run by Ned Flanders.”
You’ve posted so many of these joke creeds.
Shouldn’t you group them into their own category?
we the washed up actors,singers,porn stars show up on TBN to make $$$$$ off the stupid, brain dead, amway zombies in the audience. THERE’S TRULY IS NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS.
Your creeds are fine. Keep publishing them. We want more. What about the Unlicensed Independent Ministers’ Creed, or the Messianic Christians’ Creed?