Dan over at Cerulean Sanctum has written another keen article entitled Singleness: Radical Answers for a Harsh Reality worthy of reading.
I have been wrestling with the issue of singleness for the past three weeks with increased frustration, desires, tensions, stresses, burdens, and temptations wrestling throughout my mind and body. I have read and re-read the Genesis 2
, Genesis 24, Ruth, Song of Solomon, and Proverbs 31 scriptures over and over and over and the more I read them, the less I feel ‘ready’ but more ‘dependent’ because the desire to be a future Godly husband appears more and more impossible (with time ticking away) everytime I read those Scriptures.
Genesis 2:18-25, NKJV
And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. 20So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
And Adam said:
“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
It is not good that man (this man included) should be alone. I at this point and conjecture am experiencing this Scripture rather intensely now. I feel the loneliness and the loneliness and hurt resonates deeper when I see married couples and covenants around me either at church or at work. Being in my late thirties, I have come to the point to where I feel that a ‘creative miracle’ is going to have to come forth in order for me to find a mate in life. I’ve tried the Single’s scenes, online Christian dating (even “Dr. Warren’s service did not work) and I really feel as if this is at the point of having to be a miracle from God. This past weekend was the worst I have felt about this to the point of experiencing feelings of sorrow, grief, frustration, temptation, inadequacy and low-self esteem, etc.
When does the answer come? When does the miracle happen?
The great sportscaster Al Michaels once said during the last seconds of that famous 1980 USA-USSR hockey game “Do You Believe In Miracles?” The answer is a restounding “yes” and I believe that in this area of my life, a miracle is necessary.
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On a side note, Dan, I love the picture you used in the article. Where did you get the picture? Do you have a larger version of it? I am thinking about using it (if possible) as my new blog header.
I get free stock photos from a number of places. I got this one from MorgueFile. Here’s the link:
http://www.morguefile.com/archive/?display=1110949434401
You have to sign up to use the resource, but it is well worth it. Note that there is a large thumbnail of all the pics, but you can get the high-res original only by downloading it from the link above the thumbnail.
As I wrote in my piece, the best piece of advice I can give to today’s singles is to stop earnestly searching for a mate. I did. And less than six months after I made that decision before God, I met my wife.
I also want to say to any singles who might read this: burn your list. You know what I mean. Lists only get in the way of God surprising you. There is no perfect mate, either before or after you marry. Someone who looks like a perfect match to the list may be an absolute washout in the end, while the one who doesn’t fit the list may be exactly who you need.
Still, like the post discussses, we in the Church have blown it for singles. We need to rethink everything. We made it too hard and now we have to start over. I apologize for all of us.
Blessings.