I have always wondered that question. It seems to be that people who are introverted by nature are ‘profiled’ by Christians as potential ’secret sinners’.
The extroverted Christians seem to want to ‘deliver’ or ‘exorcise’ the shyness or their private personal nature from the introverted Christians. It seems that the introverted do want community. However, not at the expense of feeling as if community seems more like a police interrogation room, a marine drill seargeant, or a parole officer poking and prodding at you but when the reverse is done to them , they use the ‘accountability’ tactic to claim that only their ’superiors’ can poke and prod them.
Privacy and times of retreat is very benefical to the believer. Hey, I did the most every night service to the church in the past and it led to burnout, service went from willful desire to forced obligation, and feeling if I decided to skip an opportunity that God will ‘get me’ to ’show me’.
I saw it in the churches with families where there was activities, small groups, soccer games, youth group, little league, music practice, men’s group, women’s group, usher’s metings, etc. that took up too much time to the point where no time was spent with the family even though the family was the ‘target market’ of the church. What happened was that the family grew distant, many broke up, and the spouse desperate for attention went to the sin of adultery for love and affection. The child went from addicted to Jesus to addicted to drugs, alcohol, or sex as Christian parent went to the next seminar or hosted the small group turned MLM party leaving the child to be raised up by the child. Christian berated, beaten, and scorned dad continued to scan the wilderness of the work for his heart while buying porn magazines at the convienence-store next to the hotel where his annual men’s convention is held. Christian pampered and madeover mom found another Beth Moore Bible study to join thinking more studies solves problems, another mega detox vitamin to sell to supplement the single-income family, and chewed out the already berated Christian husband for not taking his place in the home and working sixty hours a week to have a home, food, clothes, vehicle, etc.
The burnout happened, the fuse blew, the gold ring meant nothing anymore, the volcano erupted, the link snapped, the time bomb exploded…..
All the while the church was getting ready to ask them for more of their time and more of their money promising the mega blessing will come if they would just ’submit’ some more.
And to think a few months ago you said you had nothing more to write about…
Thank you for this encouraging word for us ‘Introverted’ Christians! For a while I was starting to feel line I was the only one…
Henry:
No problem
As a Christian and someone interested in shyness/introversion (including my own) and its effects, I read your thoughts with great interest.
Unfortunately, in western culture and the media, shyness or introversion is often regarded as silly, socially unacceptable and even dangerous.
In America, shyness is considered particularly reprehensible. Bernardo Carducci (a university of Indiana professor and researcher focused on shyness) and Philip Zimbardo wrote in Psychology Today,
Shyness is un-American. We are, after all, the land of the free and the home of the brave. Personal attributes held high in our social esteem are leadership, assertiveness, dominance, independence and risk-taking. The people most given the most attention in our society are expressive, active and sociable. We single out as heroes actors, athletes, politicians, television personalities, and rock stars — people expert at calling attention to themselves. In a culture where everybody loves a winner, shyness is like entering a foot race with lead insoles.
As a follower of Christ, I’m not concerned with emulating rock stars and actors, but, according to researchers like Carducci, there are clearly higher incidences of alcoholism, crime and other harmful and dangerous behavior among introverts. I think that’s why a lot of people misunderstand and try to “fix” us.
I think there’s something to working to overcome some of my introverted tendencies and to take a risk to connect with people in meaningful, but not necessarily boisterous, ways.
I also have to guard against turning my envy of very extroverted, exuberant people into criticism that they are superficial phonies.
Thanks again for your writing.