I came across this article over at pjmiller’s blog that talked about the ‘latest’ news concerning the Lakeland Revival / Todd Bentley fiasco with links over to Miriam’s blog.

update: 1-2-09 9:55 PM; It has been revealed via this page that Bentley also has a Facebook page

It appears that Todd Bentley has got a new MySpace page up (with Demon Hunter music in his playlist) and sales of his ‘stuff’ now goes through a company named “Sound of Fire” which appears to be overseen by Bentley’s dad and step-mom.

However, Miriam has done an excellent job of research and link tracing to both capture a conversation on this blog (see comment # 106237 in particular) and linking it to one of Todd’s MySpace “friends” (who I admit is physically, a very attractive woman) named “*~*Jessa*~*” if indeed this is true that “*~*Jessa*~*” is ‘the other woman’.

I know that everyone who is criticizing Todd is dealing specifically with the issue of his adultery, future divorce, his poor theology, and other issues too numerous to mention here. I agree wholeheartedly with many of these people that are bringing up this issue.

However, I want to bring up an aspect of this story that no one in the Christian blogosphere is talking about right now via a rhetorical question.

Where is the other woman’s own sense of marital fidelity?

Even though Todd, as the man in a marriage and head of the household is ultimately responsible for what happened with his marriage to Shonnah, I feel that we need to call out the other woman for her part of this whole tragedy for her part in all this for she needs to also bear some responsibility in this tragedy.

Most people, when being taught their core Christian value systems about marriage and marital fidelity, are taught the basics (and how complex it is to maintain the basics) of “Once married, stay married; One spouse till death do us part; Remain faithful to your spouse and thou shalt not commit adultery.”, “Do not even pursue another relationship outside of your own marriage”, etc.

However, that is only half of the concept of marital fidelity…

What about the other half of the concept of fidelity. The other half that consists of a teaching of core Christian value systems about marriage and marital fidelity especially as it relates to single people of “If a person of the opposite sex is married, do not approach them about a relationship”, “If you approach a person of the opposite sex about a relationship (you truly not knowing they are either married, engaged, or in another relationship) and you find out that they are married, engaged, or in another relationship, you apologize to that person and move on and find someone else who is not married or in a relationship”, and “If a married person of the opposite sex approaches you desiring a relationship, do what you have to do to stand firm and say no. Run like Joseph or openly rebuke them.”, etc.

Somehow we have either failed to teach this other half or that we have become ‘pragmatic relationship opportunists’ and we do not believe the other half of the core values exist anymore.

If this other woman was approached by Todd knowing all along (the other woman was supposed to be the nanny for the kids) that Todd was married, she is equally guilty of adultery and should be called ‘adulteress’. She should be equally called out as adulteress like Todd has been called out as being. She should have had the core value system of relationships to where she should had stood her ground in the name, respect, and honor of someone else’s marriage and said

NO!

and told Todd’s wife and employer what happened.

It is like we develop a false and deceptive sense of hope that the other person will eventually get tired and bored and eventually want us instead of ‘the spouse’. It is like we treat the one we want like a mouse and we put out whatever mousetraps and cheese it takes to ensnare them in order to entrap them.

Why is it we treat spousal relations and finding a church much like a job interview? Why is it that we seem to not be able to honor a lifelong covenant in the eyes of God and believe it’s ok to dump our spouses and betray our families when ‘a better opportunity comes along’? Why is it that we believe that ‘the grass is greener on the other side’?

Let’s take this phrase ‘the grass is greener on the other side’ literally…

Let’s say that there is a fence separating your yard from your neighbor’s yard and you look over the fence and see that your neighbor has beautiful rye grass growing while you have dried up brown centipede grass. Do you decide to move out of your house and move in with the neighbors because the grass in their yard is greener?

Of course not!!

What do most people start doing? Most people start researching, learning, and eventually go out to the garden shop at Home Depot (consulting with the ‘expert’ in the orange apron) and spend some money on some fertilizer and/or grass patches and began a process of seeding/planting, fertilizing, watering, and manicuring the new grass in their yard to where it’s lively and green.

Where am I going with this analogy?

Plain and simple. Todd, the grassy life was never ‘greener’ with the ‘other woman’. Instead of pursuing a relationship with the ‘other woman’ that went too far via the adultery when you moved your emotions, affections, and sexuality to her, you should have prayed, researched, learned, and if needed, spend money on some counseling for resources that would have watered, fertilized, nurtured, and planted new seeds of growth within your own relationship with your own wife in your own backyard that would have reaped a beautiful harvest similar in ways to a beautiful grassy yard.

In other words Todd, if the woman approached you about a relationship and / or if you approached her first, the ‘approachee’ should have directed and shown the ‘approacher’ the

KEEP OFF THE GRASS

sign stating that the grass / yard / relationship was ‘off limits’ to everyone else.

But in reality, it should have never even gotten to this point. If true relationship core values were learned and followed, then the both of you would have had loyality and respect to God, your spouse, families, each other, and yourself and would have never allowed the temptation to take root and grow to begin with.

Like uprooting artichokes and dandelions that love to absorb the minerals that the grass needs to grow, the both of you should have treated that temptation like you treat artichokes and dandelions and got it uprooted as soon as possible.

But you didn’t and the grass became full of those artichokes and dandelions and you wanted to experience greener grass in a easier non-committed, less working way and you jumped the fence and the ‘other woman’ wanted you to jump the fence…..

Shame on both of you…

Fidelity is a two-sided coin where integrity of sexual purity before marriage is equally as important as integrity of sexual purity during marriage. Usually, how you conduct yourself in reference to integrity of sexual purity before marriage is a good indication of how you will act with integrity of sexual purity during marriage. It seems that we have lost the value of loyality and respect of fidelity to God first, and then to the person who we will one day call our spouse. We think that the other side is better when if we were to spend time nurturing what we already have, we would in the long run be more fulfilled, more satisfied, more in love, and more greatful for what we already have and desire nothing else.

Todd is wrong going outside of his marriage for an relationship with another woman and showing disrespect to God, his wife, and his family.

The other woman is wrong for pursuing a relationship with a known married man and showing disrespect to God, Todd’s wife, and Todd’s family.

Both need calling out. Both need a stern rebuke. Both need to sever their ties and go back where they came from.

It has been stated on other Christian blogs that Todd has no interest in restoring his marriage with Shonnah and that Todd would be going to a well known Charismatic hangout in Charlotte, NC in early 2009 to ‘get counseling, restoration, etc. I wonder since the new MySpace page showed up and that the new Ministry page is online if Todd will go and receive his ‘counseling’ or if he will go, ‘get a wristslap’ and go back out on the road because he is a third wave money draw, or if he will go back to business as usual looking for a new demographic audience unfamiliar with what happened to him (worked with Robert Tilton and Jim WhittingTONNNN) because he needs money for alimony and child support.

we are about to find out……

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1. When Lamech Starts Bragging
2. The Story That Never Ends
3. Lakeland 2.0 Is Over
4. The “LocalPastor” Talks
5. Christian Thought of The Day

Tags: Abiding Glory Ministries, adultery, Bill Johnson, Bob Jones, C. Peter Wagner, charismatic witchcraft, Che Ahn, david bentley, Ernie Gruen, fidelity, Florida Healing Outpouring, Florida Outpouring, fresh fire ministries, God TV, Gruen Report, Heresy, holiness, holiness movement, hyperlegalism, IHOP, international house of prayer, Jessa, Jessa MySpace, Kansas City Prophets, KCP, Lakeland healing revival, Lakeland revival, legalism, living sacrifice, marital fidelity, marital infidelity, marriage, marriage covenant, Mike Bickle, MorningStar Ministries, Paul Cain, portals, Rick Joyner, Robert Ricciardelli, Ryan Wyatt, seperation, sheekah-boom-ba!, Sound of Fire, TACF, The International Coalition of Apostles, Todd Bentley, Todd Bentley myspace, Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship, william branham