I was reading the Internet Monk’s latest blog post entitled Open Thread: What are some Christians thinking when they justify rudeness with religion? where Spencer links to another blog post about a waitress’ experience with church people.

Where Spencer’s article was geared towards how Christians tend to justify their rudeness as righetous indignation and as ‘Christianity in action’, it appeared that the majority of the responders to his post focused specifically on their experiences with Christians in restaurants on Sunday after church. As I read Spencer’s article and the comments, all I could really analyze as to why many Christians are like this is because….

The American restaurant on Sunday after church between 11:30 AM and 3 PM is the only place in modern society where the theories of Christian Dominionism actually have a very slim chance of working to some degree….

Unfortunately in my days of pentecostal youth and early adulthood, I have been in the group that acted arrogantly and rudely that bothered me but I did not speak out against it. Unfortunately, I have been in the group that acted arrogantly and rudely and ‘participated in the group activities’ because I was God’s special and untouchable child….

I am sorry. I repent. I ask for repentance and forgiveness

Unfortunately as I got older and wised up going through the ‘eternal epiphany’ of spirituality, I have been on the receiving end of church groups who flaunted the arrogance and rudeness in a restaurant after Sunday service. I have been on the receiving end of cold stares from church groups who thought that I had no right to disagree with them.

It is during the time when church is over where groups of Christians come in a restaurant after getting a Dominionist sermon of being “King’s Kids” (and paying ‘enough money’ to be entitled to being a “King’s Kid of the Mega Remnant”) to take authority and dominion over every thing and therefore think that by default of being a Kings Kid, have a Godly right in the name of Jesus to make a mess of the table, constantly complain of the food being too cold, too hot, not enough fries for the money they paid, being loud and boisterous, and allowing their noisy children to run around the restaurant unsupervised as they ‘fellowship’.

When other customers complain about their rudeness and the kids running around almost causing the waitresses to drop the food going to another customer’s table and the waitress and management confront the couple, then the Christians get rude and claim that if they leave the restaurant, God will close the restaurant down and force it out of business ‘Thus saith the Lord’. Since they are the customer, that means they are in the right and that they are also Kings Kids makes them “double right”.

After all of that babbling, then the Christian group has the gall to ask the waitress if she goes to church…

If the waitress says ‘yes’ then they ask why is she violating the Sabbath and that she needs to leave the apostate church that encourages her to violate the Sabbath and go to their church, the only real church in town and find a new job at the same time. The church people do not tip.

If she says ‘no” they try to evangelize her and they will refuse to leave a tip calling it ‘not supporting the devil’s child’.

When the meal is over, the furniture is in a mess, napkins are on the floor, the waitress is tired from being ran around by the Christians compulsive behavior. The Christians will not tip but instead leave a cheezy comic Chick Track with the church’s name stamped on the back or worse, those fake dollar bills that are a Gospel track.

Then they go to pay for the meal and when asked about the service, tell the hostess that the service was awful and the manager, fearing a loss of business via word of mouth or a rebuke from the district manager when the Christians flood the 1-800 complaint line, gives them a gift certificate. Then they get outside, praise God for their free gift certificate and “ronda-konda-shonda” to the parking lot to repeat this same pattern next Sunday after Church.

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This is the reason why if I need the services of a restaurant on Sunday, I try to go only for breakfast early enough in the morning to avoid the church people.
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Where else in American society can Dominionism actually work besides a restaurant?

Ever try the same tactics Christians use in restaurants on a police officer when you are pulled over and receiving a speeding ticket? You try to convince the police officer that him writing you that speeding ticket for going twenty miles over the speed limit is ‘touching god’s anointed’ and that if he does, he is wasting his time because ‘(heavenly) daddy will get you out of the ticket and bring judgment on the city and the police officer’s next four generations of descendants…’

Ever try the same tactics Christians use in restaurants when the electric company turns off the electricity because you haven’t paid your bill (but sent your money to the televangelist thinking God will rewrite the accounting books while giving you the seed faith blessing)? You try to bully the power company by telling them how ’special’ you are because of who your daddy is……

Ever try the same tactics Christians use in restaurants at your work when your co-worker comes up short on a project and you have to pick up the slack because your boss asked you to?

The truth is that these same people haven’t tried these things either because deep down in their hearts, they know it simply doesn’t work in their real world on Monday through Saturday. They know it only works every Sunday between 11:30 AM and 3:00 PM at a restaurant. They know deep down that if they pulled this stupidity at any other time at any other place….

They could be arrested for assaulting a police officer, disturbing the peace, and/or obstructing justice

They will still be told that they owe the electric bill and have their credit score messed up for seven years in the process

They could easily be fired from their job and know deep down inside that the church will not help them out while trying to explain that they were ‘fired for Jesus’.

But they believe every November that they will one day rule the nation and ‘allow God’ back into America (as if God left to begin with) to therefore be able to ‘eliminate their enemies’ (whoever disagrees with them). But they believe that they are now entitled to boss everyone around and treat people like dirt because they do not attend the same church or even attend church. They know deep down that it doesn’t work but they want it to work so bad….

They vote
They give more
They pray harder
They go to church longer
They fast deeper

Believing that it will one day work and believing that one day they will be the boss and get to boss around others as ‘pentecostal payback’ for ‘persecution’.

There is a spirit of pride and arrogance at work. But there is also a deep seated motive of righteous indignation to the point where they believe that by doing all of this stuff, they have reached the plateau of effectively serving God when in reality, they could start a new club entitled ‘Jerks For Jesus’ (not .org but dot O-R-G). But what really strikes me as downright weird is the mentality that they seem to think that they are entitled to special treatment while propagating at the same time to themselves and others that everyone in society has ‘conspired’ against them, but only them and not anyone else.

And because of the ‘conspiracy against us’, they have to be in 24/7 ‘demon detector’ fight mode to the point of looking for an unneeded fight to pick to feel spiritual. Their pastor has re-fueled their vigor and anger. Their warfare worship songs have reactivated their zeal and aggressiveness.

They came to church rushed. They leave church empowered as victors and conquerors but also angry because they don’t feel their victory Monday through Saturday when their ‘Great Satan’ boss ‘oppresses’ them, when their kids get sick wondering which one of them sinned to cause the ‘protection to disappear’, when that ‘devil police officer’ pulls them over for a speeding ticket, when their central heating unit breaks down, etc.

They have to take it all out on somebody and blame someone else for their shortcomings. They have to show who’s the ‘real’ boss in their dreamland they believe is reality. They have to find their punching bag that they can beat up but can not fight back.

And they found that person. They found that place. And they know the time to fight and ‘win’…..

The waitress at the restaurant after church between 11:30 AM and 3:00 PM

and who does it? (a hint from the game Clue…)

The Christian Dominionist, in the booth, with their ‘witness’.