I Am Ready Once Again
There is an old saying that has been morphed into a ‘rule of thumb’ of life and church polity that you hear constantly in many churches today that goes something like this:
“Don’t Throw The Baby Out With The Bath Water”
Ten years ago, I broke that rule…..
In order to save my “spiritual sanity”, I had to break that rule and eventually did throw out both the baby and the bath water. Don’t worry, it was not a literal baby I threw out. What I did “throw”, however, would be very shocking to many Christians.
I threw out the Holy Spirit (“baby”) and the dirty bath water (wrong teachings, bizarre MAN-i-FESTations, creepy sights and theological blunders) and for the next ten years of my life, I spent the majority of my time sorely focused primarily on one thing
The Word of God (retaining it is another different issue)
When I finally reached the end of the rope in charismania and it’s chronic, repetitive, and chaotic mega-fasts, kookiness, repent-a-thons, and 2 Chronicles 7:14 rallies and decided to leave my previous church in the Spring of 2001; I left with a hunger for more of the correct Word of God but still believing that the Holy Spirit was still alive and operating in the Earth today (but not manifesting in hidden agendas of the NAR, revival junkies, religious right, and the spiritual mapping super apostle nutjobs). However, I was in a deep trepidation because all I ever seen was the mindset that “Word” churches were always ‘dry’ and that “Holy Spirit” churches were always a three-ring trinitarian circus with the freak show exhibit available for an additional price and tried my best to avoid the topic whenever I could.
After months of searching, I eventually settled into (and eventually joined years later) an Evangelical Presbyterian Church that was Reformed, but at the same time was truly seeking out the genuine movement of the Holy Spirit in decency and in order that had once been embraced many years earlier by a pastor who believed that both the Sola Scriptura of the Word of God and the genuine signs and wonders of the Holy Spirit could co-exist at the same time. And all that I primarily did these past ten years was to simply pray and just read (again and again) the Word of God while still believing that the Holy Spirit is still working on Earth today.
Throughout these past ten years, there were many ‘false moves of revival’ that came and went and many people shouting out that they had the Holy Spirit. However as time came and went, all I saw was movements that relied too much on man-made momentum through bizarre MAN-i-FESTations and holy hype to keep their machines running instead of the true power of God. And part of my fear was both wasting energy on another ‘move’ that left no change and impact with scattered souls while at the same time exchange one set of kookiness for another set of circus freak show acts.
To Fast Forward seven years from the spring of 2001, it was then that I finally felt that I was ready to once again become more receptive to the matters of the Holy Spirit and what happened in that Spring of 2008? The Lakeland Revival / Florida Outpouring. From the first e-mail from a deeply bothered friend who was watching the revival live and sent me a link to the video stream and me watching this, I immediately knew that this was not the move of God. Instead of spending time that summer still seeking the genuine move of the Holy Spirit, I ended up having to spend that summer not only speaking out against it for the obvious and blatant heresies, but at the same time feeling deep down inside that there is a genuine move of the Holy Spirit at work in the Earth but definitely not through Bentley, Strader, the NAR, Morningstar, and the Revival Alliance which led me deeper to the Scriptures.
After the Lakeland Revival came and went, I continued on with life and my Spiritual walk and in the spring of 2009, a friend of mine e-mailed me and asked me if I had ever heard of a pastor named Francis Chan and ever read a book he wrote entitled “Crazy Love”? At that time, I had not heard of the author and made a promise to “one day eventually” procure a copy of the book (like I do with many other book promises) and “one day eventually” read the book.
I never read that book.
Because in July of 2009, I was using Twitter’s search engine to do some research and came across a tweet about a web page called christianaudio.com that offered the audiobook version of Crazy Love in mp3 format as part of their free audiobook of the month club. I ‘bit’ and decided to download the audiobook to where I could listen to it in my spare time. What I eventually did was to upload the audiobook into my mp3 player and while working out at the gym, listen to the book being read. There were times in that gym where I had to hold back the sheer emotion and yearning that I felt while listening to the audiobook while walking a treadmill. The contents of that book did leave a lasting impact on me but most importantly, further fanned the flames and desire of wanting to feel and sense once again the Holy Spirit.
Months later, I had heard that Francis Chan had written a new book entitled Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit and once again, this book became another promise to “one day eventually” procure a copy of the book (like I will one day procure “Introverts in The Church” by Adam McHugh; “Raised With Christ” by Adrian Warnock, “Deep Church” by Jim Belcher, “The Gospel-Driven Life” by Michael Horton, and “Mere Churchianity” by Michael Spencer) and “one day eventually” read the book.
After the 2009 holiday season and the 2010 New Year rolled in, my senior pastor began to start mentioning his earnest desire to see the presence of the Holy Spirit in operation within the congregation specifically mentioning that the ‘kookiness’ would not be tolerated. The desire was so prevalent to where the elders offered the church sanctuary as a place once a week where members of the church could pray specifically for a move of the Holy Spirit to once again come into the church along with preaching some sermons about the Holy Spirit. To this day, I have not attended those meetings due to scheduling conflicts but I have sensed since the New Year a closer yearning for the Holy Spirit to move in my life.
Last Sunday, I was on my Twitter Account and as I was doing some
research via Twitter’s search engine, I came across this tweet from a guy by the name of Mark Watson (twitter id = “Watson_Mark”) that stated:
If you would like to participate in a discussion of the Holy Spirit and enter for a free book click here. http://is.gd/8mQHb
1:59 PM Feb 14th from Seesmic
I clicked on the link provided and it took me to Watson’s blog where he announced that He wanted to do a book discussion on the book “Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit” by Francis Chan. In order to get the discussion rolling, Mr. Watson agreed to give out five copies of the book based on this condition:
“To receive a book you have to leave a reply on this post and tell why you want to join in the discussion. I will select five from the best entrants.”
I decided to leave a comment on his blog
Mark:
I saw your tweet while doing a Twitter search on Francis Chan that led me to your blog.
I am very interested in receiving a free copy of Forgotten God by Francis Chan while at the same time, engage in conversation with you about the contents of the book. I am familiar with the author and with what he preaches because I own and have listened to the audiobook of his last book Crazy Love.
In order to save my ’spiritual sanity’ these past ten years, I had to completely run away from all of the craziness, chaos, and confusion prevalent within the holiness / pentecostal / charismatic movements (defined by them as the Holy Spirit) almost ten years ago into a reformed theology at an Evangelical Presbyterian church that is amazingly yearning for the real power of the Holy Spirit done in decency and order.
And part of that process to restore my spiritual sanity and security was to just get more firmly grounded in the Word to the point where I turned away from people and concepts mentioning the words ‘holy spirit’
Ten years later, I now firmly believe that I am at a stage in my Christian walk where I am ready to once again sense and partake in the correct, decent, and orderly mannerisms, movements, and manifestations of the Holy Spirit as described in the Word of God (Bible) and not described by some kooky manifestations and gyrations.
This desire to end my ’self-imposed exile’ of the Holy Spirit has been in the inner working of my being for the past year and is one of the many subjects of many late night prayer sessions. This desire has also been recently refueled and further deepened within me after seeing these two videos
The Big Red Tractor
and
The Forgotten God Trailer
—–
I hope that I will be one of the five people chosen to receive the free copy of the book and to also join you in the discussion about the contents of the book. I thank you in advance for the opportunity
The next day, I was chosen to receive the book and participate in the discussion and submitted my address for receipt of the book. The following Saturday, I received the book from Amazon.com’s Phoenix warehouse in my mailbox in perfect condition and am looking forward to reading and discussing the book over at Mark Watson’s blog and at the same time end my Holy Spirit exile because I now feel confident, healed, and ready to deeply and further embrace the Holy Spirit in a proper way like I have never experienced before.
I am looking forward to reading the book, engaging in conversation about the book, and experiencing the Holy Spirit in decency and in order not because of Chan’s book, but because of the promises of John 14:15-31 and John 16:4-15
Every once in a while, there is a retired Presbyterian pastor who is a member of our church that will preach the Sunday sermon when pastoral staff was sick, or went to the national convention, or to give the pastors a break. Before he begins his sermon, this man prays and he always begins his prayer with this phrase that is not a formula of his Faith, but an expression of his innermost desire:
Holy Spirit, Fall Afresh On Me.
Where I would experience a deep sense of anxiety a year ago when I heard those words fearing some nutjob would go kooky in the church sanctuary, I am now ready (once again) for that same desire (with decency and order) in those words to become an everyday “supernaturally natural” working reality in my own life. When the retired pastor prays that statement now, all I want to do is add three words to the end of that statement……
Me too Lord!
Related Posts
- Review: Forgotten God – Introduction
- Review: Forgotten God – Chapter Three
- Review: Forgotten God – Chapter Two
- Review: Forgotten God – Chapter Seven
- Review: Forgotten God – Chapter Six
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