In search of... a Godly wife. This sounds like the title of those old 1970's Leonard Nimoy episodes of 'In Search Of' where archaeologists attempt to find, explain, and rationalize natural phenomenons of the world or try to prove the existence of Bible stories such as Jericho or fabled legends such as the Loch Ness Monster. However, it is a quest every normal Christian single man embarks on in his lifetime. The search of a wife is an endeavor that comes easy for many men while at the same time is difficult for many men. Some Christian men can find the woman God has for them in their early twenties while some men find that Godly woman in their mid-life. In few cases, some men never find their wife due to a vow of celibacy or for some other reasons unknown to everyone. Some men see this as an adventure while other men see this as drudgery and a chore that leads to utter frustration.

If one looks throughout the Scriptures, the Bible shows a transisition from singleness to the state of holy matrimony in many different ways. Adam was placed in a deep sleep and had a rib removed by God to wake up to Eve by his side. God, by unstated means, created a wife for Cain. Abraham sent out a servant to take a wife for his son Isaac many miles away from his distant relatives. Boaz fell asleep at the threshing floor and Ruth laid beside him and Boaz legally did what it took to take Ruth as his wife. Hosea went out and married a known prostitute. Ahasuerus was given a wife, Esther, because she won the beauty competition. Therefore, no "official Christian perspective" on dating and meeting your spouse can be justified. If you look at the different ways these people came unto marriage, you will see that the marriages were blessed by God and the marriages were prosperous. Why? Because they followed "the formula"? No. It is because God's favor was upon those people and righteousness and submissiveness unto God and to their spouse ruled in those marriages.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a Christian man desiring and searching for a wife. Proverbs 18:22 (NJKV) states that "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord". The Apostle Paul stated in 1 Corinthians 7:9 that "...if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion." Rather than giving into lusts and hurting the woman one loves by pre-marital sexual intercourse, Paul tells the Corinthians that He desires the unmarried to marry instead of enacting out a fleshly desire. In fact, the concept of the marriage covenant and the family unit is an blessing from the Lord.

Many Christian men do not have a problem with the act and the sanctuary of the marriage covenant in and of itself. However, the problem many men face is the actual act of finding a Godly wife. Numerous methods of spouse finding have been in place and 're-packaged' over the years from dating services, dating personals, blind dates, online personals and dating, meeting a woman in the areas of commerce, etc. I will assume that if you are a single Christian man, the idea candidate for a single Christian wife will not be found in a bar nor a strip club around a pole. Many men have not found 'Miss Right'. In the Christian realm, 'dating' is already a 'taboo' subject that many try to deem as a 'sin' to where they can deny dealing with the problem. This is very evident in many churches today from such re-legalisms and personal ideologies made corporate theologies such as Joshua Harris' "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" (see my article "Personal Ideologies or Corporate Theologies" especially part four concerning this book) and from such archaic 'stinking thinking' of Christian Singles groups are 'meat markets' where all Christian singles do is meet members of the opposite sex for romance and not for Bible study.

Many Christian married couples actually 'double talk' themselves bragging about the joys of marriage and family from one side of their mouth while preaching 'be content', 'God approves Christian dating only if the couple met in church', and 'I can not dictate and control my spouse' and discourage marriage from the other side of their mouth. They have their spouse and quickly forget their own personal struggles and rub in their ability to marry in the face of Singles. In many churches, singles are seen as second-class citizens in the midst of the 'utopia' definition of family of the parents of seven homeschool future republican butterfly kissing children living in the Thomas Kinckade house of light. Sermons are geared more to the 'family' and not to the complete nurturing of the individual. For a more detailed analysis of the Christian Singles mentality in the church today, please read my article "Christian Singles, The Forgotten Frontier". In the remainder of this article, I wish to discuss the search for a Christian wife from a single man's perspective.

Please Click here for part two of this article.